2 Months

Yesterday marked 2 months since we had to say goodbye to my Dad. It seems the more time passes it gets harder as the reality of him being gone truly starts to sink in. A few days ago, I went and visited his house... Gabby and I walked around and just remembered. I drove home bawling, but I needed to feel close to him for a minute... The day before yesterday, right after Steve pulled up in the driveway, I heard someone outside. I looked out the front window and there was a truck that looked like my Dad's truck out front. Then I saw a man similar in build to my father, with a pony tail like my Dad had right before he cut his hair.... for just a second I thought Oh Dad is here, but as I got up to walk to the door I realized that it of course couldn't be him... I was crying before I reached the door. When I opened it to see who it was, the man and another guy with him were pulling away, already leaving. I asked Steve who it was, and he said that it was someone we didn't know at all... he just randomly stopped by to ask if the truck our driveway was for sale... My Dad's truck. Steven told them it wasn't and they left, but how random is that??? As I sat crying on my couch, missing my Dad, my phone started ringing. It was Lauren. Lauren sees my Mom and my sister from time to time, but she hasn't called me since Dad passed. Even though she was calling to see if Steve could help Kurtis, I felt like these things were maybe, just maybe, my Dad's way of saying Hi...

Today after dropping Kaitlyn off at school, I decided not to take the street where Mom & Dad's house is... I am hurting so much I decided I didn't want to start my day in tears.... but as we passed by the street and went a little further, I heard Gabby out of no where calling for Pop-Pop from the back seat... the tears came after all... maybe she can see him, because she was calling for him like he was there, or maybe she just misses him like the rest of us... either way, I know that she is hurting too... we all are.

Later, after coming home this morning, as I looked on Facebook I saw a post from Lauren. She had a dream about a painting estimate last night... Dad was there and the people they were doing the paint estimate for had already picked out a color... bright Orange. The significance of bright orange is this... my father painted the bedroom in his house that had once been Katie's (and also once been Steven's and mine) BRIGHT ORANGE when he painted it... but even more than that, the color of the awareness ribbons for leukemia is bright orange... if my Dad wanted to say hi to one of his best friends who he worked with side by side painting for countless hours... what better way to do so?


It's been 2 months since Dad got his Angel wings... we all miss him terribly. We are happy he is pain free and breathing easy, but we still wish he could have had that on this side of heaven. I love you Dad, keep the visits coming... I miss you so much I can't wait to see you again.